Thursday, November 28, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Hi again! The Stahle clan has been fabulously busy with life since my last post. My summer and fall updates are above this post, and I have videos of my EPIC relay, The Seattle to Portland, and this summer's Girl's Camp below. Let's be honest, five slideshows AND a lengthy post is sort of a time commitment...so update at your leisure. :) Happy Thanksgiving! We have so much to be grateful for today and every day.
I've been thinking a lot for the last several months about lots of things, as is the usual case in this brain of mine. I've hit the big 30 this month and although I've actually not thought intensely about graduating into the next decade of life, I have been discovering a lot about the things that are most important to me. There have been a few bumps along life's road this year for the Stahles and just like anyone dealing with road blocks or "opportunities for growth" (Blech), we tend to reevaluate why we do the things we do and how we want things to be. The other day, (which, "the other day" always means about a month or two ago, FYI) we were on a walk with Lincoln to the park. He has been so aware of the Fall and the colors. (My post around this time last year was motivation for me to teach him EARLY about the beauty that surrounds us in all seasons instead of just enduring the discomfort that the lack of sunshine brings to my California roots). Anyway...every time Lincoln makes mention of the colors or notices the things that little kids notice about the seasons changing, my heart smiles a little and I learn a little more about how I want to see the world through the eyes of a child. On this walk, Lincoln noticed that the leaves were falling off of the trees. Dallas began this beautiful explanation about how as the trees prepare for winter time, they need to take care of the parts of themselves that are most important, like the trunk and the roots, which takes away some of the energy that normally gets fed to the leaves. Over time, the leaves start to change color before they fall off the tree as it prepares itself for colder and darker seasons. But, next year, in the Spring time, warmth and more light helps the tree grow again, leaves and blossoms grow back and the process begins yet again. As Dallas simply explained this process to Lincoln, I couldn't help but think about how I've done that very thing so many times in my life. Storms and difficulties rage and the focus turns to my trunk and my roots, to weather the storm and in the process, new life, new perspective and new opinions blossom.
I've determined since I last posted that there are 4 things I feel completely passionate about in this "season" of my life. They are recurring concepts that I keep coming back to, analyzing and seeking to implement and understand.
1. You've all seen a ven diagram, yes?
You all have your own circles. I am i mine. Somewhere, somehow, at a specific time and for a specific reason, we connect with each other. The shaded area represents that part. It's called...wait for it...connection. :) It can be hard to describe, but I feel like it's right up there with being in love, the miracle of childbirth, reuniting with a long lost friend or relative...sometimes it lasts for a few moments, other times it lasts for months and years.
2. Purpose. We all need purpose. It makes us feel needed, necessary, important, driven and spurs us on to do incredible things! I used to believe that we all just need to find our "purpose" in life and if we keep looking and praying and trying, that it would become clear. I still believe that to an extent, but I think I've been missing the mark. I think purpose can be found everywhere. We can assign a purpose to every experience we have, which changes how we think about family, God, work, school, struggles, friendship, food, exercise, emotions, etc. As we seek to understand the purpose in these smaller things, our perspective becomes more charactered and meaningful, which then creates all sorts of receptors, so that we can recognize opportunities or struggles that come for the purpose they serve, then turn around and use them to create something more grand. If we are made in the image of God, then we are in fact, by nature, creators. We create humans! We create beautiful experiences both from the cards we are dealt and from intentionally making decisions about what purpose we want to have each day. Sometimes my purpose is to make sure my children live through the day. :) Other days my purpose is to lift the sagging spirit of a friend. And still other days my purpose is overcoming the natural tendency I have to be self-critical. By small means, great things come to pass...I'm finding the value of patience in seeking for purpose. I can be quite an overachiever when I determine something is really important to me, but sometimes in the day to day concerns, stresses and reactions, we lose sight of the perspective each and every experience provides.
3. Worthiness. This is huge. I am grateful to parents and to a husband that have contributed greatly to my sense of worthiness. I'm referring to the feeling "worth it" sense of worthiness. I've always felt worth the fight, worth the effort and worth working through the "stuff"...and I want everyone I meet to have that same feeling because I think that's what God wants for us too. Sometimes we arrive at certain stages of our lives by hanging on for dear life to the coat tails of a loved one...completely insecure, unaware and wide eyed, just hoping no one realizes we have no idea what we are doing until we determine how to fake it enough until we make it...enough. I do not say "fake it" in terms of being disingenuous. I think motion creates emotion...I didn't believe it for years when my dad would preach it to me...but it's true. You want to eat healthier after you've already eaten healthy for a few days. You want to exercise more, after you've actually made it through the first week. I am more likely to fold the giant load of laundry on my couch once I get my butt over to said couch and start folding...Sometimes we sincerely and authentically attempt to find our worth in things and identify ourselves by them. I am a stellar mom. I don't feel like it most of the time, but that's because I don't choose to feel like it. My kids know they are loved, cared for and that they can pray for help and get it. I work part time, I spend a million hours trying to keep up with household stuff that is redundant and repetitive, but nice to accomplish. I invest several hours a week into the youth in my congregation. I try to serve the every day people I come in contact with...and sometimes it is all exhausting. But, whatever these things are...they are GOOD. God is good. He wants us to be good. But we are good to Him because we are His, not because of what we are doing. Sure, there is value to serving, stretching, prioritizing and becoming. Of course...of course! I copied a phrase from some success book a decade ago to put on my affirmations I have on my fridge. "I see the value of what I am becoming, while I am achieving." Worthiness comes from within and in my opinion, from understanding Whose we really are.
4. Peace. This part is crucial. I have a crazy active brain. One that really only stops at night (gratefully) when my head hits the pillow. (This is a literal statement. My bed is a dangerous place if you want to have a conversation...or a prayer. I have a delicious pillow and comfy memory foam topper that envelope all my cares when I climb into bed in .2 seconds no less). But...the 18 other hours a day, my brain really is like the internet superhighway Mark Gungor talks about. Synapses are firing RIDICULOUSLY fast on all fronts. So naturally peace is something I seek. I was at a retreat recently where a woman spoke about meditation. It reminded me of the playlist I created of "Soothing Massage" music for when I was in labor with Cole and how amazing and powerful our minds really are. They can create calm amidst the storm. I was able to focus and be calm in my mind, while my body was pushing a blasted HUMAN BEING out of it...that is pretty miraculous. And that is just a small piece of the beauty in "mind over matter". Peace is really an intentional thing for me. The more I seek it, the more I find it. The more I acknowledge it, the more often I recognize it and feel it. For me, peace isn't the absence of hard things. It's the calm assurance that I'll pull through victorious. It's also that feeling I get when Lincoln comes up to me on the couch and snuggles up into my side and says, "I love you, mom." Or when Cole leans into my face with his slobbery mouth gaping open to give me a "kiss". Or, when Dallas and I are doing the dishes together or folding laundry and catch each other's eyes for a few seconds and say, "I love you." Out loud. Those are the peaceful moments that matter.
Thanks for reading all of my pontifications on life! Enjoy the pics of the last six months! There are lots!
I've been thinking a lot for the last several months about lots of things, as is the usual case in this brain of mine. I've hit the big 30 this month and although I've actually not thought intensely about graduating into the next decade of life, I have been discovering a lot about the things that are most important to me. There have been a few bumps along life's road this year for the Stahles and just like anyone dealing with road blocks or "opportunities for growth" (Blech), we tend to reevaluate why we do the things we do and how we want things to be. The other day, (which, "the other day" always means about a month or two ago, FYI) we were on a walk with Lincoln to the park. He has been so aware of the Fall and the colors. (My post around this time last year was motivation for me to teach him EARLY about the beauty that surrounds us in all seasons instead of just enduring the discomfort that the lack of sunshine brings to my California roots). Anyway...every time Lincoln makes mention of the colors or notices the things that little kids notice about the seasons changing, my heart smiles a little and I learn a little more about how I want to see the world through the eyes of a child. On this walk, Lincoln noticed that the leaves were falling off of the trees. Dallas began this beautiful explanation about how as the trees prepare for winter time, they need to take care of the parts of themselves that are most important, like the trunk and the roots, which takes away some of the energy that normally gets fed to the leaves. Over time, the leaves start to change color before they fall off the tree as it prepares itself for colder and darker seasons. But, next year, in the Spring time, warmth and more light helps the tree grow again, leaves and blossoms grow back and the process begins yet again. As Dallas simply explained this process to Lincoln, I couldn't help but think about how I've done that very thing so many times in my life. Storms and difficulties rage and the focus turns to my trunk and my roots, to weather the storm and in the process, new life, new perspective and new opinions blossom.
I've determined since I last posted that there are 4 things I feel completely passionate about in this "season" of my life. They are recurring concepts that I keep coming back to, analyzing and seeking to implement and understand.
1. You've all seen a ven diagram, yes?
You all have your own circles. I am i mine. Somewhere, somehow, at a specific time and for a specific reason, we connect with each other. The shaded area represents that part. It's called...wait for it...connection. :) It can be hard to describe, but I feel like it's right up there with being in love, the miracle of childbirth, reuniting with a long lost friend or relative...sometimes it lasts for a few moments, other times it lasts for months and years.
Brene Brown, whom I've come to love and respect, said, "I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen,heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
In my life, connection to others and connection to God are essential to happiness. When we seek for it we notice it. When we notice it and acknowledge it, our desire to seek for it increases and the cycle repeats itself. God wants us to feel that connection with people, with our passions, and with Him. As we include Him in our learning, our uncomfortable, frustrating, and sometimes annoying learning, sometimes he will take our hand and lead us, sometimes he will sit or walk beside us, and sometimes he blesses our lives with people that teach us more than we could learn on our own. Connection, true connection, lifting connection, is what adds that dimension to our lives that helps us avoid the trap we can fall into with the routine that can become robotic and inflexible. Routine is good, don't get me wrong. It is actually essential for my personality and lifestyle in several cases, but not at the expense of truly connecting and SEEing my children and those I love.
2. Purpose. We all need purpose. It makes us feel needed, necessary, important, driven and spurs us on to do incredible things! I used to believe that we all just need to find our "purpose" in life and if we keep looking and praying and trying, that it would become clear. I still believe that to an extent, but I think I've been missing the mark. I think purpose can be found everywhere. We can assign a purpose to every experience we have, which changes how we think about family, God, work, school, struggles, friendship, food, exercise, emotions, etc. As we seek to understand the purpose in these smaller things, our perspective becomes more charactered and meaningful, which then creates all sorts of receptors, so that we can recognize opportunities or struggles that come for the purpose they serve, then turn around and use them to create something more grand. If we are made in the image of God, then we are in fact, by nature, creators. We create humans! We create beautiful experiences both from the cards we are dealt and from intentionally making decisions about what purpose we want to have each day. Sometimes my purpose is to make sure my children live through the day. :) Other days my purpose is to lift the sagging spirit of a friend. And still other days my purpose is overcoming the natural tendency I have to be self-critical. By small means, great things come to pass...I'm finding the value of patience in seeking for purpose. I can be quite an overachiever when I determine something is really important to me, but sometimes in the day to day concerns, stresses and reactions, we lose sight of the perspective each and every experience provides.
3. Worthiness. This is huge. I am grateful to parents and to a husband that have contributed greatly to my sense of worthiness. I'm referring to the feeling "worth it" sense of worthiness. I've always felt worth the fight, worth the effort and worth working through the "stuff"...and I want everyone I meet to have that same feeling because I think that's what God wants for us too. Sometimes we arrive at certain stages of our lives by hanging on for dear life to the coat tails of a loved one...completely insecure, unaware and wide eyed, just hoping no one realizes we have no idea what we are doing until we determine how to fake it enough until we make it...enough. I do not say "fake it" in terms of being disingenuous. I think motion creates emotion...I didn't believe it for years when my dad would preach it to me...but it's true. You want to eat healthier after you've already eaten healthy for a few days. You want to exercise more, after you've actually made it through the first week. I am more likely to fold the giant load of laundry on my couch once I get my butt over to said couch and start folding...Sometimes we sincerely and authentically attempt to find our worth in things and identify ourselves by them. I am a stellar mom. I don't feel like it most of the time, but that's because I don't choose to feel like it. My kids know they are loved, cared for and that they can pray for help and get it. I work part time, I spend a million hours trying to keep up with household stuff that is redundant and repetitive, but nice to accomplish. I invest several hours a week into the youth in my congregation. I try to serve the every day people I come in contact with...and sometimes it is all exhausting. But, whatever these things are...they are GOOD. God is good. He wants us to be good. But we are good to Him because we are His, not because of what we are doing. Sure, there is value to serving, stretching, prioritizing and becoming. Of course...of course! I copied a phrase from some success book a decade ago to put on my affirmations I have on my fridge. "I see the value of what I am becoming, while I am achieving." Worthiness comes from within and in my opinion, from understanding Whose we really are.
4. Peace. This part is crucial. I have a crazy active brain. One that really only stops at night (gratefully) when my head hits the pillow. (This is a literal statement. My bed is a dangerous place if you want to have a conversation...or a prayer. I have a delicious pillow and comfy memory foam topper that envelope all my cares when I climb into bed in .2 seconds no less). But...the 18 other hours a day, my brain really is like the internet superhighway Mark Gungor talks about. Synapses are firing RIDICULOUSLY fast on all fronts. So naturally peace is something I seek. I was at a retreat recently where a woman spoke about meditation. It reminded me of the playlist I created of "Soothing Massage" music for when I was in labor with Cole and how amazing and powerful our minds really are. They can create calm amidst the storm. I was able to focus and be calm in my mind, while my body was pushing a blasted HUMAN BEING out of it...that is pretty miraculous. And that is just a small piece of the beauty in "mind over matter". Peace is really an intentional thing for me. The more I seek it, the more I find it. The more I acknowledge it, the more often I recognize it and feel it. For me, peace isn't the absence of hard things. It's the calm assurance that I'll pull through victorious. It's also that feeling I get when Lincoln comes up to me on the couch and snuggles up into my side and says, "I love you, mom." Or when Cole leans into my face with his slobbery mouth gaping open to give me a "kiss". Or, when Dallas and I are doing the dishes together or folding laundry and catch each other's eyes for a few seconds and say, "I love you." Out loud. Those are the peaceful moments that matter.
Thanks for reading all of my pontifications on life! Enjoy the pics of the last six months! There are lots!
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